


A Battle From Within

by elladansgirl



Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-12
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2018-03-17 13:33:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3531152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elladansgirl/pseuds/elladansgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes keeping promises is not always as easy as it seems and for Haldir, keeping on promise could mean foresaking the other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Tolkien owns them, I merely play with them 
> 
> This is one of the very first stories I ever wrote ( and one of the very few HET stories I ever wrote). It was originally posted back in 2005. 
> 
> It was also long before I had a beta so please forgive all mistakes. I did edit it before posting and tried to fix any mistakes that I saw.

Haldir sat quietly looking out over the water. The favor that Galadriel had asked of him weighing heavily on his mind. He had been asked to lead a company of elves to Helms Deep. 

“To honor an old allegiance,” was what the Lady of light had called it. She gave him until first light to make a decision. Both The Lord and Lady of Lorien had agreed that it was not his duty and therefore had a choice.

“How can it not be my duty?” Haldir wondered “Is it not my duty to protect Lothlorien and all those who live here? Is that not what I would, in many ways, be doing should I choose to go?”

Only he could answer these questions. Haldir knew this but there were also others to consider, others that if he were to go would have to stay behind. 

Leaving the quietness of the lake, Haldir slowly made his way along the path that would lead him to his talan. The one place that had always brought him comfort, more so now then ever. It was where he had lived since he was a young elfling. He and his brothers had shared a great amount of time there. Now, he shared it with two others that would forever hold a place in his heart. Just thinking about them made him quicken his steps. He had some time before he had to give his decision, time he planned to spend with them.

Slowly making his way up to his talan, Haldir stopped just as he entered the doorway. Areth was asleep and he did not wish to disturb her. He knew the baby was taking much of her time and energy. Silently he slipped into a small room just off to the side of his own. Walking over to the tiny bed that his brother Orophin had handmade himself, Haldir smiled when he saw the elfling.

“Should you not be asleep?” He asked as he lifted the tiny infant into his arms. Carefully cradling the child as he walked over to the rocking chair that Areth often used when nursing their son.

“Everything I do has been for you and your mother, it has been since they day you were born.” Haldir spoke softly as he looked lovingly at his son. “This decision I am to make is no different.” 

Placing a gentle kiss on the infants head, Haldir sat and rocked with him in silence. His eyes never leaving the child’s face as he watched his son slowly drift off to sleep.

“I may have to leave , little one,” he said with a deep sigh. He reached down with one hand and gently ran his fingers over his son's forehead. “I have been given the choice to go or to stay and I am not yet sure what my choice will be.” 

Slowly getting up, Haldir carried the child over to the balcony. Carefully using his cloak to cover that baby as he looked out over Lorien. “I have a duty to this realm, to protect it, to see that no harm ever comes to those who live here. I also have a duty to you and your mother. I promised to forever be at her side and yours. How can I do both. How can I do one duty without forsaking the other?”

 

After a while, Haldir walked back inside. He gently placed the sleeping child into his bed. Leaning over he placed a kiss to the baby’s cheek

“Sleep well my son.” He whispered before leaving the room. 

As he walked towards his own bed, he saw that Areth was now awake. His eyes met with hers as he placed himself next to her on the bed

“You knew I was home.” He stated softly as she rested her head against his chest.

“I did,” she admitted “I did not wish to interrupt a moment between a father and his Son. 

Haldir closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh. He wanted to remember this moment. 

“Perhaps the father would have welcomed the company of his wife and mother to that son.” 

Areth giggled softly as she turned her head to face him. Their eyes met and locked and both were silent for a few minutes

“Tell me,” she had been able to see that something was on his mind. “We have always figured things out together.”

“Galadriel wants to send a company of elves to Helms Deep,” he told her. He had reached out and pushed some hair away from her eyes. “She offered me the chance to lead them.”

Areth sat up and they shared another look. She wondered if Haldir even knew how much his emotions often showed in his eyes. At least to those who knew him as well as she did. There were very few, aside from his brothers.

”Will you go?” she asked him softly, though part of her already knew what he would decide. She knew who he was long before they were ever together. It was one of the many things she loved about him. Yet there would always be a small part of her that would always hope that he would choose to stay with not on her but with his son as well

“I have not yet made my decision,” he told her honestly. “I have until first light to choose.’

Areth tilted her head slightly, smiling she brought her hand gently against his cheek. “You will make the right choice, Haldir.” She told him softly, “you always do.” 

Haldir reached up and took her hand in his, gently he pulled her back down and rested her against him. He gently placed a soft kiss on the inside of her wrist before bringing her head down to his, pressing his lips against hers in a tender kiss. 

“Gerich Veleth nin” (You have my love) Haldir whispered softly as he turned them over so that he now rested above her. His hand playing softly in her hair.

“And you have mine.” Areth replied. 

Lowering his head, Haldir kissed her neck. As it often was with them it had not taken long for them to lose themselves in each others touch. Their hands caressing each other slowly as they came together. Wanting to prolong the feeling, Haldir was slow in his movements, his kisses having more depth, more passion. 

“What would you have me do?” Haldir asked as he lay in their bed, his arms wrapped around her.

“What your heart tells you,” she replied softly placing a soft kiss on his chest just above his heart.

“What would our son think if I did….” Haldir let his question drop when he saw the sharp look that Areth gave him.

“Our son,” she said, her eyebrow slightly raised “ will be proud of his father no matter what choice he makes.” She told him, “ as will I “ 

Haldir nodded and quickly placed his mouth over hers in a deep passionate kiss. 

“I love you.” Haldir whispered into her ear.

“Show me” she pulled her head back to meet his eyes.

“Again?” Haldir asked, a slight smile playing across his face.

“Always” Areth replied just as he rolled them over, once more they were lost to each other.

 

When Haldir woke up, he found himself alone in the bed. He smiled when he heard the soft voice in the other room. He always enjoyed hearing Areth as she would sing softly while she nursed their son. Quietly he went into the room and watched in silence as Areth rocked back and forth. Her head was resting against the back of the chair and she had her eyes closed. Their son cradled protectively in her arms, gently nursing from her. 

“This is an image I shall carry with me always.” He said as moved quietly into the room. He knelt down slowly and kissed the top of their sons head.

“So you have decided then?” Areth asked softly. She had been watching their son and slowly looked over at Haldir. She knew then what his choice was. 

“Will you come to see Galadriel with me?” Haldir asked her as he placed a gently kiss on his son’s head.

“Of course,” she replied after a short while. 

It did not take them long to reach the Galadriel's talan. Haldir kept his son cradled in his arms while Areth stayed at his side. He had no doubt that his mate already knew what his decision was. Having her support in this let him know he was doing the right thing, no matter how hard it would be. 

Galadriel had been expecting them and she gave them both a smile as they entered the talan. She watched silently as Haldir gently passed the infant over to its mother. 

“Have you come to a decision?” Celeborn asked as he took his place at his wife’s side. 

“I have,” Haldir replied as he turned to face them. “It was not an easy choice to make,” he pointed out.

Celeborn nodded once as Galadriel stepped forward. The Lady of Lorien placed a hand on Haldir’s shoulder. She looked over to where Areth was standing and once again wondered if she should have even asked this of him.

“I know I have asked many things of you over the years,” Galadriel replied, glancing back at her own mate. “We both have,”she continued “If this is too much...”

Haldir looked over his shoulder at his mate and his son and he could only hope they truly understood that they were his true reason for needing to do this

“I will do as you have asked,” he told Galadriel. “ I will lead the elves to Helms Deep,” 

 

~~TBC~~


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations: Goheno nin =forgive me
> 
> Gerich veleth nin = you have my love.

Haldir knew that once his decision had been made, there would be no going back. He would remain true to his word even if it would be the hardest thing he ever had to do. Very little was said as they made their way home. He had no doubt that Areth was leaving him to his thoughts. 

Leaving Lorien, his brothers,and his family was not something he looked forward to. However he would find no rest unless he knew his family and his home were safe. They only way he could make sure of that was to go to Helms deep. He had known this could happen, all the wardens did. It was what they trained for. Though when he had first become a warden he had not expected to have family other than his brothers.

Now, he had Areth and their son. As he turned his head to look at her now, rocking their son to sleep as she did every night. There was no doubt that he loved them. It was his duty as her husband and as his father to keep them safe.

 

“I will miss watching this.” He spoke softly, not to wake the baby. He smiled at her when she turned her head to look at him.

“I knew you would go.” She had replied, getting him to arch an eyebrow slightly.

“You are angry?” He got up and walked over to her, helping her place the baby in his crib. He turned his head when he felt her hand against his cheek

“I am proud,” Areth told him. “As are your brothers and as he will be,” she continued while she looked down at their son.

Knowing this made it easier for him to get his things ready. The idea of leaving her alone to care for their son bothered him more then anything. As if she had read his thought she assured him they would be fine. 

“Should you need anything...” He brought her into his arms, holding her close to him, wanting to keep her there, keep her safe with him.

“Then I know where to find your brothers,” she replied softy. “Do not worry about us. We will be fine. We will be safe here in Lorien while we worry about you.”

Needing her more then ever, Haldir carried her to their room and gently placed her down on their bed. Wanting to remember this view, Haldir took his time looking her over. When she opened her arms to him, he did not hesitate.

 

“Love me,” she whispered softly into his ear. She felt him shiver against her and holding him tighter.

 

“Always,” Haldir replied before kissing her deeply. His hands moving over her slowly, enjoying the feel of every curve of her as he took her clothes off, closing his eyes as she took her turn to remove his. Moving to her and kissing her softly at first, letting it deepen slowly. The feel of her skin against his made his desire for her increase even more. As their passion built, he gave in to his need and claimed her, making love to her until exhaustion took them both into their dreams. His arms wrapped around her as they slept.

They say old habits die-hard and for Haldir, he was no exception o this as he woke once more before dawn. Watching Areth as she slept before getting up and slipping into the bedchamber next to his. 

“we need to talk,” he smiled as he lifted his son gently up into his arms. Keeping the blanket wrapped around the infant, he stepped out onto the balcony. The sun just now being to touch the leaves of every tree in Lorien. For a few minutes he stood there, holding his son as he looked out at Lorien. The soft touch against his jaw brought his attention back to his son and he kissed the tiny fingers

“I will do everything in my power to return to you and your mother,” he spoke softly. “If this is not possible then as you grow older it falls on you to protect not only your mother but all of Lorien as well, just as I do now.” His eyes closed as he placed a single kiss to his son's head. “Never doubt that my heart will always be with you, little one.”

After placing the baby back in his bed, Haldir stood and watched him sleep for a while before leaving the room. It was almost time for him to leave and Haldir was not sure he could walk out the door, not when he had so much he would be leaving behind. 

“As handsome as ever,” Areth's voice reached his ears as he finished getting dressed.

“I did not want to wake you,” he told her, strapping on his sword before he moved to the edge of the bed and sat facing her.

“You would have left without saying goodbye?” she looked over at him, eyebrow slightly raised even as he took her hand.

“never,” he shook his head. “You just looked so peaceful when you sleep.”

Looking at her, he saw the concern in her eyes and the sadness that was mixed in there as well. He slowly lifted her hand and kissed the tip of each finger softly then her wrist.

“Love me?” he asked, touching her face softly before leaning in and kissing her tenderly.

“Always,” she had replied, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tightly. She wasn't ready to let him go.

“That knowledge alone will bring me home,” he said, kissing her once more before he forced himself to walk out the door, looking up once to see her on the balcony, their son in her arms...

It was that exact picture he would keep in his mind during this mission, when hopes had been at their lowest. It was also the last thing he had seen in his mind as he took his last breath, her name a soft whisper heard only by the one man who held onto him as he died. 

~ ~ ~

No matter how much she tried, Areth had not been able to keep warm. A cold chill having passed through her as she tried to sleep. The quietness of the talan was hard to face. Only after he had gone did she notice that just the sound of his light breathing at night had been a comfort to her. She missed fallen asleep and waking up wrapped in his arms, the only place she had truly felt safe.

 

“Goheno nin,” the soft whisper in her ear had her sitting up in her bed, looking around the room, she saw no one. Her tears fell as she realized she had thought it was Haldir's voice. She must have been dreaming again for she knew he was not coming home. Rumil had brought her the news of his death but her heart had told her long before he had come. 

 

“You promised to come home,” she whispered softly, hearing her own voice echo through the room. The emptiness seem to close in around her even more.

“Goheno nin” came a soft reply as a gently breeze touched her face.

“Haldir?” she closed her eyes as the breeze touched her again. She could have sworn she felt his touch against her cheek, his arms around her as she lay back down in their bed. The soft comfort she would always feel with him was there once more as she drifted off to sleep, whispering softly that she did forgive him. 

She never felt the soft breeze that moved though the baby”s room or heard the soft sounds of their son as he had reached up to touch the air when the breeze touched him as well. The soft whisper that the breeze carried meant only for their soon to hear as he to drifted off to sleep

“Gerich veleth nin...”

 

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> I will edit chapter 2 later today and will post it as soon as I am done.


End file.
